Contaminating Communication of Complaining

Did you ever view an episode on Discovery Channel “Dirty Jobs” with host Mike Rowe? I have never seen an entire show because I was usually too grossed out by some of the difficult and disgusting things he had to do. The purpose of the program was to show by firsthand experience some of the everyday tasks employees had to endure to do their job. He did this by assisting in the very things these workers had to do in a typical workday. Most of these jobs took him into physically repulsive settings to carry out necessary tasks. Honestly, my stomach churned when I learned of the dirty jobs some people must endure.

   

  I wonder if Mike ever had to work alongside an employee in the Customer Relations Department of a major company. I am pretty sure a person in this department faced plenty of “dirt” in an eight-hour day listening to complaints. Maybe the department would be better named the “Complaint Department.” After all, how many people call Customer Relations just to say, “Man, everything I got from your company was just great! The service was exceptional, and the product exceeded my expectations!” If an employee in this department received such a call, they would probably need a coworker to get them smelling salts to revive them or to place a call to 911 to report a heart attack! People are free with complaints and rather stingy with compliments.

     It was Dale Carnegie who said, “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most do.” It seems like complaining is part of the DNA of humanity. Chris Tiegreen observes that people generally “speak the language of criticism and complaint far too fluently.” He adds that as a result humans have the “ability to criticize and harp on the faults seen in those around them, blame their own circumstances on the decisions of others, and vilify those who don’t agree with them.” How often the scourge of complaining spreads its damaging effects upon relationships and produces a toxic environment of discontent.

     One of the Old Testament characters I appreciate is Moses. He spent one third of his life in the “Customer Relations Department” for the nation of Israel. He was appointed leader by God to deliver the nation from bondage and take them to the promised land described by God in the most glowing of terms – “a land filled with milk and honey.” Repeatedly the national response was complaining, criticism, and threat. Every time life looked tough, or was tough, their response was complaint.

     The books of Exodus and Numbers preserves a catalog of complaints the nation brings against God and his appointed leader, Moses. Here is a sampling of the occasions when complaints were expressed and spread through the nation: Complained when they felt trapped (Exodus 14:10-12); Grumbled when they were thirsty (15:22-24); Whined when they were hungry (16:1-3); Grumbled when there was not enough variety with the food God did provide (Numbers 11:4-34); Griped about the difficulties ahead entering the promised land which was indeed filled with milk and honey (14:1-4). All their muttering and moaning was an aggravation to God as He heard their ingratitude and saw their forgetfulness of God’s work on their behalf. God evaluates their complaining and concludes this is evidence that the people despised, disbelieved, and disregarded what He had done for them (14:11). Not only is a complaining spirit annoying to people around us, it is annoying to God.

     Sometimes I hear fellow pastors complain about the complainers in their congregations. The very thing that bothers them they practice by their own complaining! It is amazing how Moses responded to all the complaints launched toward him.  Moses did two commendable things. First, he took his complaint to God in prayer instead of spreading the contagion among the people he led. Second, he pleaded with God to display mercy and grace to these chronic complainers. That is a good example for all of us regardless of our station in life. All of us “speak the language of criticism and complaint far too fluently.”

     The best antidote to the contaminating communication of complaining is to “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone” (Colossians 4:6). Paul adds this admonition, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”

     What practical action can we take to stop the spread of complaining. Be careful of what and how you text or post! I have often wondered, “How much would remain on social media and social networking, if complaints were removed?” When the spirit of complaining arises in our emotions, perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on the observation of William A. Ward, “The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjusts the sail.” There are more constructive responses to life than complaining!