Just to give the budding romances springing up in our midst a heads up, Valentines Day is coming up on February 14th. The day holds a special significance for me for that was when I had my first date with a coed at college who would become my wife almost 54 years ago. Little did I realize at the time that a simple date at an inexpensive social event at college would blossom quickly into a proposal and a wedding seventeen months later. My Valentine that fateful day many years ago was someone I had known for 2 ½ years. I had been impressed with her but never attempted to ask her to go out on a date. Both of us had other interests and, frankly, I assumed I was out of her league. I was a class clown and she an academic, athletic, and serious-minded individual. I asked anyway and have been grateful ever since.
I had a romantic notion about the evening at this social. It would be a
time for us to get to know one another better while spending time together. The
reality was that my duty of overseeing the social event kept us like the
proverbial “ships passing in the night.” Topping it all off, the Dean of Women
of the college asked me to escort her back to her car. The city of Philadelphia
in the late 60’s was in a state of social upheaval and safety was on the minds
of most women. So, my evening ended with my date and the college’s Dean of
Women walking to her car and then hustling back to meet the college curfew. So
much for any romanticized notions I might have had! They vaporized that night in
a blur of interruptions. Fortunately, the evening was not our last encounter!
How much of life has been less than what we expected? I have performed
hundreds of weddings and warned couples during premarital counseling that romance
often runs into the realities of life. Therefore, they need to be committed to
their marriage despite unrealized expectations. Stary-eyed couples nodded their
agreement, but reality had not yet arrived. Relationships grow even as people
change and face the challenges of living with a person who, like them, is not
perfect and not exactly who they expected them to be. Finances and family put
interesting pressures into romanticized notions. Date nights occur, but not exactly
as anticipated. The candlelight dinner may be replaced by a fast-food excursion
or consuming a hotdog and soda special at a box store! Quiet conversation may now
be interrupted by cranky children present with them because of an absent-minded
babysitter. Health issues arise that place a relationship in the place where
the vow “in sickness and health” takes on a totally different reality. The
commitment now reaches beyond mere words and requires selfless compassion.
Frankly, romanticized expectations need to be readjusted and new realities need
to be embraced with steadfast love and enduring grace.
Romantic relationships are not the only places where readjustments need
to take place. How many people had a romanticized view of what their career
would be like, only to become disenchanted with the hardships of their
profession? How often has a dream of a future adventure been deflated by disappointment
because the experience failed to deliver the anticipated exciting high. Why do
we expect so much from things in life – like a new car or new residence – and
find that they just don’t deliver what we expected? The car does not perform as
advertised and the residence is just one more thing that one must manage. The
fact is that life is too often romanticized and when reality confronts us, we
cringe with discomfort and disappointment.
I was challenged lately with this in the lives of the children of
Israel. Moses announced to them that they were to be delivered by God from the
slavery of Egypt. They saw God work on their behalf as divine plagues ravaged
the Egyptians. They saw the way God protected them. They watched the destruction
of the army that pursued them to enslave them again. The biblical record says,
“When Israel saw the great power which the Lord had used against the Egyptians,
the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord…” (Exodus 14:31). This
resulted in a celebration as joy flooded their lives and song broke out. Amazement
filled their lips saying to God, “Who is like you among the gods, O Lord? Who
is like You, majestic in holiness, Awesome in praises, working wonders”
(15:11). Life became romanticized in their eyes. Great God! Great works! We are
about to have a great life! Three days later they are in the wilderness.
Finding no water, they are thirsty, and began to grumble, “What shall we drink?
(15:22, 24). Reality sucked the romantic notion out of the nation. This is not
an easy walk or a pleasant camping trip. This is a difficult journey they are
facing. They needed to get a strong dose of reality and see that the same Lord
who delivered them is the same God who was with them and guided them in the
pillar of cloud and pillar of fire (13:21-22). He was there and still could do
mighty wonders.
God took away a romanticized reality from the children of Israel and gave them a realistic reality, one that revealed a tough journey but with a powerful and faithful God. Max Lucado writes about the life of the child of God, “God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.” Perhaps it is time to set aside our romantic notions about life and embrace the future realities God has for us. Life is not a cake walk, but it does lead to a celestial destination! Enjoy the journey regardless of the challenges!
