Romanticized Reality

Just to give the budding romances springing up in our midst a heads up, Valentines Day is coming up on February 14^th. The day holds a special significance for me for that was when I had my first date with a coed at college who would become my wife almost 54 years ago. Little did I realize at the time that a simple date at an inexpensive social event at college would blossom quickly into a proposal and a wedding seventeen months later. My Valentine that fateful day many years ago was someone I had known for 2 ½ years. I had been impressed with her but never attempted to ask her to go out on a date. Both of us had other interests and, frankly, I assumed I was out of her league. I was a class clown and she an academic, athletic, and serious-minded individual. I asked anyway and have been grateful ever since.

     I had a romantic notion about the evening at this social. It would be a time for us to get to know one another better while spending time together. The reality was that my duty of overseeing the social event kept us like the proverbial “ships passing in the night.” Topping it all off, the Dean of Women of the college asked me to escort her back to her car. The city of Philadelphia in the late 60’s was in a state of social upheaval and safety was on the minds of most women. So, my evening ended with my date and the college’s Dean of Women walking to her car and then hustling back to meet the college curfew. So much for any romanticized notions I might have had! They vaporized that night in a blur of interruptions. Fortunately, the evening was not our last encounter!

     How much of life has been less than what we expected? I have performed hundreds of weddings and warned couples during premarital counseling that romance often runs into the realities of life. Therefore, they need to be committed to their marriage despite unrealized expectations. Stary-eyed couples nodded their agreement, but reality had not yet arrived. Relationships grow even as people change and face the challenges of living with a person who, like them, is not perfect and not exactly who they expected them to be. Finances and family put interesting pressures into romanticized notions. Date nights occur, but not exactly as anticipated. The candlelight dinner may be replaced by a fast-food excursion or consuming a hotdog and soda special at a box store! Quiet conversation may now be interrupted by cranky children present with them because of an absent-minded babysitter. Health issues arise that place a relationship in the place where the vow “in sickness and health” takes on a totally different reality. The commitment now reaches beyond mere words and requires selfless compassion. Frankly, romanticized expectations need to be readjusted and new realities need to be embraced with steadfast love and enduring grace.

     Romantic relationships are not the only places where readjustments need to take place. How many people had a romanticized view of what their career would be like, only to become disenchanted with the hardships of their profession? How often has a dream of a future adventure been deflated by disappointment because the experience failed to deliver the anticipated exciting high. Why do we expect so much from things in life – like a new car or new residence – and find that they just don’t deliver what we expected? The car does not perform as advertised and the residence is just one more thing that one must manage. The fact is that life is too often romanticized and when reality confronts us, we cringe with discomfort and disappointment.

     I was challenged lately with this in the lives of the children of Israel. Moses announced to them that they were to be delivered by God from the slavery of Egypt. They saw God work on their behalf as divine plagues ravaged the Egyptians. They saw the way God protected them. They watched the destruction of the army that pursued them to enslave them again. The biblical record says, “When Israel saw the great power which the Lord had used against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord…” (Exodus 14:31). This resulted in a celebration as joy flooded their lives and song broke out. Amazement filled their lips saying to God, “Who is like you among the gods, O Lord? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, Awesome in praises, working wonders” (15:11). Life became romanticized in their eyes. Great God! Great works! We are about to have a great life! Three days later they are in the wilderness. Finding no water, they are thirsty, and began to grumble, “What shall we drink? (15:22, 24). Reality sucked the romantic notion out of the nation. This is not an easy walk or a pleasant camping trip. This is a difficult journey they are facing. They needed to get a strong dose of reality and see that the same Lord who delivered them is the same God who was with them and guided them in the pillar of cloud and pillar of fire (13:21-22). He was there and still could do mighty wonders.

     God took away a romanticized reality from the children of Israel and gave them a realistic reality, one that revealed a tough journey but with a powerful and faithful God. Max Lucado writes about the life of the child of God, “God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.” Perhaps it is time to set aside our romantic notions about life and embrace the future realities God has for us. Life is not a cake walk, but it does lead to a celestial destination! Enjoy the journey regardless of the challenges! 

Set Aside the Crystal Ball

About this time each year prognosticators bring out their crystal balls, shine them up, and begin to pronounce their understanding of the coming misty, foggy future. They give you all the reasons their wisdom has led them to their conclusions and proudly announce, “This is what we can expect in the coming year.” They announce their conclusions in such firm terms that they often preface their prophecy with the term “obviously.” They leave you with the impression that if you think contrary to their pronouncements, you are not very wise. The problem with such declarations is they are based upon their wisdom, which is at best limited, and at worst tinged with arrogant presumption.

     For example, Economist Harry S. Dent warns of a market crash "of a lifetime" to the realm of the level of the great crash of 1929 to 1932. In contrast, another economic soothsayer, Kristina Hooper, chief global market strategist at Invesco, pulls out her economic crystal ball and predicts what she calls a "bumpy landing” but eventually expects markets and the economy to bounce upward in 2024. What is the result of all of this? Financial advisors’ phones are ringing off the hook, their email boxes are filling, and anxious clients pop antacids trying to process such contrasting perspectives.

     Of course, in a more serious issue, crystal balls are being polished to discern who will win the College Football Playoff, or who will be in and win the Super Bowl. All this angst so that a fool and his money can be separated at a sport’s betting site willing to give odds that their crystal ball is better than yours. There are entire companies that make their livelihood by guessing the future to make a profit. Insurance companies devise actuary tables based on projections into the future as to a person’s longevity.  Other companies insure properties speculating if they can amass enough fees to cover the expenses associated with future natural disasters and still make a profit.

     If it appears to you that I am cynical of people trying to guess the future, you would be right. How often we gaze into the future and presume to know the outcome. The only One who knows and controls the future is God Himself.

Jesus shared a story about a man who thought that he had the wisdom to handle the future. The man in the parable dismissed acknowledging that God had brought material blessings into his life (Luke 12:16-21). As a result, he began to trust his own wisdom and gazed into the crystal ball of arrogance. He then determined a course of action without considering God’s will in the matter. His crystal ball guided him to plan to build bigger barns to store what he had amassed. He did not consider that God had been his source of blessing and therefore consult with God as to the future for his life. He was very self-satisfied with his plan and went about living his life without consulting God. He thought he was the controller of his own destiny. Tragically, his life ended with full barns and an empty life. God evaluated him as a fool and Jesus said, “So is the man who… is not rich toward God.”

     The oldest half-brother of Jesus, James, applied the teachings of Jesus to his world view. In a letter he wrote to fellow believers he shares how important it is to see life not from a crystal ball but from wisdom that God gives. He writes in James 4:13-17 to not be arrogant about the plans we devise for our life. He is not against wise planning. He is stressing planning that is theocentric – focused upon what God’s wants. He said in essence, make plans but say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that” (15). To leave God out of the plans of our life he says is to “boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil” (16). We must see our future as being in God’s hands. Additionally, we trust that God can carry out His plans in our lives. Therefore, we develop a submissive attitude to God and yield to God in all our planning for the future. Our supreme example of a proper view of life is seen in Jesus Christ. As he faced the horrors of the cross and his mission to die for the sins of the world he said, “Not my will but your will be done” (Luke 22:42). It is not a surprise that the writer of Hebrews challenges us to be “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews12:2). Jesus saw His Heavenly Father’s will as the best plan for his life, yielding a perfect outcome even while facing traumatic circumstances.

     What will 2024 bring your way? Who knows? Well… God does! We don’t rely upon the crystal ball. We rely upon something much greater. Corrie Ten Boom challenges us, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” Such an attitude helps us to process and progress in the uncertain days in which we live. The late Pastor Tim Keller said, “How you experience your present is completely shaped by what you believe your ultimate future to be.” Let your future in 2024 be guided not by a crystal ball of uncertainty but by a confident relationship with a gracious God.

Perfect Gift

The Christmas gift buying frenzy is in full swing. It seems like this season starts earlier and earlier each year. As children were thinking of settling into the school season and no hint of leaves changing color, the marketing machine began promoting Black Friday. It was rather jolting to see Halloween candy and decorations displayed side by side with Christmas merchandise. One store making a rather humorous statement had a skeleton holding a Christmas wreath!

     Back when dinosaurs were roaming the earth and I was a child, the Christmas season officially kicked off after the Thanksgiving celebrations of a massive meal and department store sponsored parades. The Christmas merchandizing machine then kicked into high gear and catalogues began arriving in mailboxes with enticements to purchase must-have gifts. Children folded down corners of the catalogue’s pages and marked items with an “X” to drop subtle hints for appropriate gifts for parents to purchase for their little darlings. A parent may even have ventured to a local store to survey their children’s suggestions and to see about any layaway possibilities. Credit cards were not avaliable in those days so other purchase arrangements needed to be made.

     When Christmas morning arrived, children would rush to the tinsel bedecked tree. They would hover over brightly wrapped gifts to see which of the boxes had their names on attached tags. When the parental signal was given the wrapping paper was quickly shredded and a gift was uncovered. It was a delight sometimes, and a disappointment on other occasions. The disappointment arose because this was not what was expected. A child thought, “Did I mark this in the catalogue?” The letdown may have arisen because the expectation was bigger than the reality – the gift was not as spectacular as the catalogue portrayed it to be. In those cases, a gift garnered attention for a short amount of time, but then it was set aside almost as quickly as it had been unwrapped. On occasions the gift was enjoyed until it broke, or it became boring. Then it was set aside, too. Sometimes, even when the gift was delightful, it had to be returned because it was defective – something missing or broken that kept the gift from fulfilling its design. All the gift-hype was over quickly and sometimes a grand funk set in of “gift letdown.” All this expectation, but for what?

     Certainly, one would find this a grand opportunity for parental Lecture 101, “Be thankful for what you got.”  But somehow that speech just didn’t diminish the letdown. As far as the child was concerned the Christmas gift was a bust. All that expectation was for nothing. However, there were those times when the gift was perfect. Most amazingly, the child didn’t even know it was coming or that they needed it. It was a gift producing total satisfaction and was highly cherished.

     The first Christmas offered the best gift because it came from our Father Creator who knew perfectly what people needed. Humanity had leafed through the “world’s” catalogue of satisfying gifts and came up disappointed. The world’s catalogue suggested frail trinkets to satisfy a soul’s need. Each trinket looked tempting but was lacking in providing what was needed most. The first Christmas offered the gift that was perfect, met the greatest needs of people, and was cherished by those who accepted the gift as a divine provision fitting perfectly into the void in their lives. It was not defective, disappointing, or deficient in any way. The gift is described in the most familiar verse in the Bible, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life” (John3:16 NLT). The gift was perfect, even though it was not what people thought they needed or even expected. It was a gift that arrived at the perfect time – “When the right time came, God sent his Son…” (Galatians 4:4 NLT). The gift came in a perfect way – “born of a woman” whom God chose (Ibid.). The gift provided a perfect plan, “To buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children” (Ibid.). Those who receive this gift find they have a gift that produces total satisfaction and is highly cherished.

     According to the National Retail Federation, 17.8% of merchandise sold in the Christmas season will be returned – $428 billion – 2 out of every 3 customers will return a gift (giftmeyourtime.com). The most returned item was clothing. The gift just didn’t fit – their body or taste. The gift that God gave at Christmas will not need to be returned. It is a perfect fit for all of humanity. It is a gift that will be considered precious by all who receive it. Have a great Christmas with a perfect gift!

The Age of Arrogance

 As a young boy my mother used to have a code that she would speak quietly to me when I began to speak or act in ways that displayed an overabundance of pride. She simply would look at me a mouthed these three letters – S. P. S. I knew what these letters meant – Self Pride Stinketh! It also meant to stop bragging, praise others, and speak less. If I ignored her silent admonition, then I was escorted out of the room and her message to me was made plainer! How childish to have to have your mother put a curb on your tongue.

     Is this just a problem for immature children? A casual glance at culture would suggest that S.P.S. needs to be whispered into the ears of many adults in our culture. Meryl Streep is a successful actress who’s received numerous Academy Award nominations (winning three), and Golden Globe Award nominations (winning eight). Some time ago she expressed her view of the movie industry in an interview with Helena de Bertodano in the Daily Telegraph (London), "It's sort of exhausting, this self-congratulatory atmosphere in which the movie community lives. It's unbearable. We're not that important in the world, but we certainly all think we are…I shouldn't talk about it, I mean I'm really grateful that my work is recognized…but boy, we've gotten a little bloated. It's so grand and the outfits are so incredible and the critique of how everybody looks and the desperation of people to make an impact—it really gets to me." Perhaps Meryl Streep was whispering in the ears of Hollywood’s culture a sort of S.P.S. Does anyone in the industry pay attention?

     Arrogance that is birthed out of pride is a malady that has existed since the fall of Lucifer when he rebelled against the God of heaven and was cast out of His presence for all eternity. There is no place in the universe for an alternate God. One person observed, “Pride in who we are or what we own or what we have accomplished likewise causes us to put ourselves in the place only God should occupy.” Not a wise direction to go, just ask Lucifer!

     Pride and its offspring, arrogance, is the poison that paralyzes and distorts our thinking. In such a state we are likely to foolishly think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think, and conversely think more disparagingly in our estimation of others. The Apostle Paul had to issue an S.P.S. to a church he loved, “I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us” (Romans 12:3 NLT). Pastor Stewart Brisco summarized the idea this way, “Don’t overthink or underthink who you are – be honest!” Too often we can fall into the trap of building ourselves up, by tearing other people down. That is just another way of allowing arrogance to unleash its destructive ways.

     The antidote for arrogance is to heed the wisdom that James gives to a church suffering trials and oppression. He wrote, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor” (4:10 NLT). When the honor in life comes from the Lord, who knows all things and people perfectly, that surpasses any honor that could be given by people, or honor we bestowed upon ourselves. People who think they know the whole story about us most likely don’t. Even our personal estimations can be jaded by the deceptive hearts that we all have. The Lord told the prophet Jeremiah “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve” (17:9-10). The Lord provides honest honor!     

     Let God pass out the accolades that really matter. We need not bestow them upon ourselves. Jesus told a story in Matthew 25:14-29 about the kingdom of heaven and rewards. In the story the ones who invested as they should were praised and rewarded by the master, “‘You have been faithful in handling this small amount,’ he told him, ‘so now I will give you many more responsibilities.’” (21, 23). The one who pridefully relied upon his own wisdom was not complemented but condemned. The master summarizes, “The man who uses well what he is given shall be given more, and he shall have abundance. But from the man who is unfaithful, even what little responsibility he has shall be taken from him’” (29). There was an example of proper pride in the reporting by his first two servants. They simply reported the facts of the matter. The last servant, proud of his shrewd thinking, was condemned.

     From time to time in my life, pride and arrogance still rises to the surface of my interactions with people. God has graciously brought back to me my mother’s whisper, “S.P.S.” In those moments I am reminded to stop bragging, praise others, and speak less. It may be good for each of us to think about that.    

Obsession with Busyness

How many times have you asked a person, “How are things going?” It is not unusual for them to respond something like this, “Life’s good, but we are super busy.” Sometimes we assume that this comment is reserved for those who are adults and are juggling a lot of responsibilities related to their profession, family, or community involvement. I have discovered that busyness in our culture is intergenerational. It is a malady that strikes the young as well as those who are older. Busyness is no respecter of persons!

     In my life I have the privilege to intersect with multiple generations. I have grandchildren who are in a constant state of running from one event to another. I look at the calendar pasted on the door of their refrigerator and wonder how they could squeeze one more event into their packed life – but they do. I serve on a college campus mentoring students and they seem to be in perpetual motion. They are balancing course requirements, working to pay tuition, socializing with a coed that has caught their eye, engaging in internships or service projects, performing responsibilities like eating and laundry (if not close to home), and of course, allowing time for recreation i.e. computer games and social media – always time for that! Then we come to adults and a cartoon character comes to mind of a frazzled individual trying to address all the things that pile into their life like earning a living, caring for multiple generations of family members, connecting and ministering to their mates, fulfilling house projects, engaging in some sort of hobby (if possible), and of course being the chauffer, cook, and family referee. Even folks in retirement communities are stricken with the burden of busyness. The issues are very different but no less demanding. Now the focus is upon doctor’s appointments, family involvements, caring for physical demands like physical therapy and related health issues, along with a host of other demands. Have you ever tried to schedule time with a senior citizen? Lots of luck!

     It seems apparent that we live frantic lives. A century ago Henry David Thoreau concluded that, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” What would he say about the days in which you and I live? In the Harvard Business Review there was an interesting article entitled, “Beware a Culture of Busyness” by Adam Waytz (March–April 2023). In it he writes that Nora Rosendahl, the chief operating officer of the performance coaching firm Hintsa, conducted a small social experiment by documenting answers to the question “How are you?” She discovered during a week, nearly eight out of 10 people said, “Busy.” Social scientists have a title for this condition tagged “time poverty.” How interesting that living in a culture enamored with time saving gadgets and strategies, we are nonetheless having trouble with managing our time. Why? Waytz concludes that our culture values busyness, adding, “Busyness has become a status symbol.”

     While people often applaud people who are busy and assume that they must be significant, not everyone is impressed. A busy husband does not impress a neglected wife. Overlooked children do not necessarily flourish in their harried home life. Friends are not impressed that people are too busy to connect with them. You get the idea; life needs to be more than busy. Lest you think that this busyness pandemic is something new, people throughout the centuries have battled the barrenness of busyness.

     Two individuals in the life of Christ display this. In Luke 10:38-42 we see the interaction two sisters have with Jesus. Martha was the busy one and, “was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing” (40). Busyness often captures our attention and creates distortions in life. Martha focused upon physical food and not spiritual food for her soul. In contrast, “Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught” (39). She was busy, but in a unique way and with different matters. Her priority was her soul, not her belly or the belly of Jesus. She was feasting upon the nourishing words that Jesus was serving up to feed her hungry heart. When a busy individual encounters someone who seems to be a slacker, resentment often results. Martha complains to Jesus, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me” (40). Martha essentially wants Mary’s priorities and agenda to be altered to become like hers.

     How does Jesus resolve the issue? Instead of adjusting Mary’s activities, he applauds her singular activity of focusing upon what Jesus was saying and tells Martha she needed to avoid the bareness of her busyness. If Jesus would comment on our lives that reflect lives of “quiet desperation” what might he say? How would he evaluate what we are doing? Does our busyness direct us in the right direction or become a distraction focused upon things that really do not matter and lead us to frustration? Who are we most like, Mary or Martha? Let’s not be obsessed with the busyness of misplaced priorities, but with the best thing – “really only one thing worth being concerned about” (42). Jesus countered the busy life of Martha by offering a better alternative. Perhaps we need to readjust our lives in a similar way. 

WOW Is Coming

Each August for the last ten years I have been involved in “WOW Days” at Lancaster Bible College | Capital Seminary & Graduate School where I serve as a Student Care Giver. The WOW letters are an acronym for “Weekend of Welcome” held for Freshmen, new students, and their parents. Dorm students then can move into their dorm rooms. It is always amazing how much gear students feel they actually need – but then again, I like backpacking! The event is also designed to familiarize new students with what to expect as they enter this phase of their life. Resident students get the ins and outs of dorm life. Commuter students learn where to park their cars, find places to eat, and more importantly where to get coffee on campus. Students also have time for some fun with fellow classmates and of course to check out co-eds strolling the campus. Orientation opportunities suggest how these new students can make the most of their collegiate experience. Parents after unloading the car ­– or in some cases a truck! – have orientation sessions too to help them process what lies ahead for their children. This is a time where they can be assured that their child will be well taken care of and answer any questions.

     In my opinion, there is another WOW that coincides with this weekend for these new students. This acronym is for parents and stands for “Weekend of Wonder.” Many questions were not asked in the orientation session for parents. In fact, many were not even thought of until the trip home. Then the WOW moment for parents begins. “Did we adequately prepare them for this?” “Did will give them the best advice?” “Did we do the right thing in giving them our blessing as they launch into this new unknown?” At a certain point in the Weekend of Welcome, all parents are asked to say their goodbyes, get in their vehicles and leave. I have watched family huddles and hugs and seen more than a few tears as farewells were expressed. The launch into the unknown is now official.

     This time of the year I am transported back to when our son was launched into the unknown. He was our first child to leave home for university, and he was going to one in Aberdeen, Scotland. There he would do his undergraduate studies for the next number of years in a very different educational structure. Since he was so young, I had to travel with him to open an international bank account, line up phone cards (this was before cell phones), and make sure he had all he needed. A week after our arrival it was time for me to have a WOW experience. “What in the world were we doing – so far away?” “Did I do enough to get him settled?” “Will he be OK?” I remember walking away from him on a misty night in Aberdeen. After a number of steps, I turned around and looked back just as his silhouetted form entered the lighted entrance to his dorm. Tears welled and I turned back again to walk to where I was staying, pack up, and fly back to the USA early the next morning. It was a long flight with an abundance of questions and wondering whirling in my mind.

     Parents have these WOW moments throughout a child’s life. Will they be OK in nursery school, grade school, intermediate and high school? Will they be OK at the week of camp, in the week with the grandparents, on that first long unsupervised drive, at a youth party, on the first date, their wedding, caring for their first child, and the list goes on. I have described life as a series of changes with an occasional crisis thrown in. What we really wonder about is, “Can we trust God with our child even in a crisis?”

     The Bible portrays numerous occasions where parents are having a WOW experience. One is recorded in Exodus 2:1-10. Moses’s parents had their wondering experience when their son was born. Historically these were tumultuous times. The ethnic group, the Jews, of which they were a part, were a hated people. They were enslaved, abused, and faced persecution that included infanticide of their male children (1:16). In these days Moses’ parents, Amram and Jochebed (Ex. 6:20), had a son. Moses was hidden until it became impossible to do so. Then the WOW moments came. Can my child be safe in a parent-crafted ark? What will happen when he is found in the river where we placed him? Will he be cared for? Will I ever see him again? Who will bring him up, if not us? The biggest question really was, “Can God be trusted with this child in this crisis time?” As you read the story you see how God intervened and those wonderings were addressed. God not only saw that Moses was cared for, but also that Moses would be the person that God would use to deliver and care for an entire nation that was in peril.

     I now have grandchildren that are leaving home and are being launched into the unknown. I need to remember that the unknown is my perspective not God’s. He knows the end from the beginning because he is God (Isaiah 46:9-10). May you have another WOW in your life. This acronym means “Waiting in Wonder.” Waiting in wonder and faith to see what God will do. I am always delighted to see how God works (Roman 8:28) even in the hard and disappointing times. It is then I can say, “WOW what a God we have!”            

Hast Makes Waste

Isn’t it amazing how often we can remember a saying that was shared in the past? However, more recent comments flow out of our minds with great ease. Here are some of the pearls of wisdom said to me as a child that I still remember and likely said to my children. “Close the door, you are going to let the heat out!” When I was a child there was no air conditioning, so it was always the heat that was escaping. Another classic was, “Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.” I now wonder how many EMTs check a victim’s underwear after an accident before they treat them? A headscratcher I heard frequently, “You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?” Come on, if I could figure out that question, we would not be having this discussion! The one pearl of advice that has been dismissed now that I am older – and likely when younger – was, “Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food!” In fact, I have changed that saying now to, “Life is short, eat cupcakes for breakfast!” You get the point. Many of the things that were said to us have stuck in our minds, but they were really not that life altering.

     However, there were several sayings that lodged in my mind which I rank highly on my list of “Worthwhile Remembering.” One was, “Hast makes waste.” Often, I look back at a decision and wished I had remembered this before I acted. Another was, “Measure twice, cut once.” Many a handyman project could have avoided aggravation if that advice was followed. The last saying that comes to mind sort of ties the preceding sayings together, “Look before you leap.” How many messes in life could have been avoided if this thought had come to mind earlier. Perhaps these words of wisdom are locked away in your minds too along with other sage pieces of advice that you have gathered over time.

     King Solomon wrote and collected “proverbs to teach people wisdom and discipline… They will give knowledge and purpose to young people” (Proverbs 1:2-4). Sadly, while he was a person of great wisdom and produced thousands of proverbs to impart that wisdom (1 Kings 4:29, 32), his later life reveals a man controlled by his passions and not his wisdom. However, the Book of Proverbs shares a collection of advice that merits a person’s attention.

     Proverbs speaks about making wise decisions that is based upon, “Thinking before you act.” He says clearly, “Zeal without knowledge is not good; a person who moves too quickly may go the wrong way” (19:2 NLT). Taking the time to gather the evidence in a situation and then distinguishing what it reveals is time well spent (20:8). For some people, the only activity in which they engage is jumping to conclusions.

     It is also wise to, “Think before you speak.” Proverbs says, “Wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold or rubies” (20:15). To arrive at wise speech a person must take time to weigh their words and formulate what to say and how to say something. Sometimes it takes time for another to come along and help one process a situation and come to a wise decision as to what needs to be said (20:5).  

     Too often people fail to make plans that take into consideration sound advice that gives good counsel (20:18). Not only does this come from human advisors (19:20), but also seeking the Lord who directs the our steps (20:24). Afterall, we must remind ourselves that we can make plans but the “Lord’s purpose will prevail” (19:21).

     How many have acted rashly because emotion has been their guide and they have not taken the time to cool down and think through their actions? Sage advice in Proverbs is, “Don’t say, ‘I will get even for this wrong.’ Wait for the Lord to handle the matter” (20:22). The result of hasty action we are told is that “Short-tempered people must pay their own penalty” (19:19).

     Do you recall Shakespeare’s tragedy Romeo and Juliet? Romeo makes a hasty decision to take his own life after he presumes that Juliet is dead. Making an impulsive decision he ingests poison before receiving the truth that she was not dead, but merely drugged. Juliet revives, sees dead Romeo, and takes her life. The tragedy reveals Romeo’s hast. He failed to assess the actual situation and overlooked the potential advice of others. His deadly plans were hatched based upon the emotion of the moment. How tragic indeed, “Haste makes waste.” Proverbs also says, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death… The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with great confidence” (14:12, 16). A valuable alternative is to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (3:5-6).

     Someone has suggested that there is real wisdom in reading a chapter of Proverbs each day during a month, since there are thirty-one chapters. That is one way to acquire God’s wisdom. You may say, “That takes too much time.” But I suggest, “Hast makes waste, but pausing may be profitable!”