Are We Still In Our Terrible Twos?

The two-year-old boy with a tangled mass of blond curls and deep blue eyes had his gaze locked upon his dad’s. Standing in front of his father he was at best petite and in reality just a miniature person. However, at this moment, his dad’s physical size meant nothing. The child was again preparing to declare his independence from the “establishment.” The directive from his father was clearly and lovingly given, but the mind of the cute little boy was busy processing how he was going to respond in such a way that he would declare and establish his independence. After a pause, defiantly he stuck his little tongue out toward his dad as if to say, “I’m going to try it one more time. I don’t want anyone – even someone who loves me – to tell me what to do.” The response of his dad was the same as it had been numerous times that day. The corresponding results were: a child disciplined, tears flowed, assurances of love from a patient father expressed, and little arms tightly hugged his father’s neck. The words formed in my mind, “When will he ever learn? He is not going to win!” Then I mused, “Welcome to the terrible twos!”

Just using the phrase “the terrible twos” conjures up all sorts of images. Despite the image we imagine, they seem to communicate the same thing, an immature child is trying to declare their independence from parental authority – and anyone else’s for that matter. Those who observe such rebellious encounters try and comfort exasperated parents by saying, “Don’t worry, they will grow out of this.”

However, it seems to me that some people have a hard time getting past their “terrible twos.” An individual may be in their 40s, but they still have a defiant spirit that sticks their proverbial tongue out at the world declaring, “No one can tell me what to do!” Their defiance creates havoc in their lives and yet they persist. They are just an older model of the “terrible twos.” They do not consider nor care now hopeless their action may be, they just feel better that they have expressed resistance to an authority.

Our Heavenly Father deals with rebellious children all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve in a way “stuck out” their defiant tongues to God by ignoring His clear directive “not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:17). The result was God’s loving discipline and His gracious provision to restore them to fellowship with Him once again. What a display of amazing gracious love!

Humanity through the centuries has continued to display “terrible-two-defiance.” The Psalmist captures this spirit when he asks, “Why do the nations conspire and the people plot in vain? The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the Lord and against his Anointed One. ‘Let us break their chains,’ they say, ‘and throw off their fetters’” (2:1-3). It sounds like a bad case of the “terrible twos,” doesn’t it? As foolish as it is to defy an earthly father, it is even more arrogant to rebel against a Heavenly Father, who is all powerful and righteous. What an encouragement to realize that our Heavenly Father is even more gracious with us than our earthly fathers.

The terrible twos resurface in all of us from time to time. A clear biblical command is encountered and we seem to intentionally resist the directive rather than submit to it. In those times perhaps we need to reflect upon how immature and foolish that response is. To borrow the words of the Apostle Paul, “When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11 NIV). Perhaps we need to get past our “terrible twos” and start living as spiritually mature people who seek to practice unreserved obedience to our Heavenly Father. He loves us so much that He gives us guidance to live successfully in this world. He also loves us so much that he doesn’t let us get away with our “terrible-two-defiance” that ignores His directives. Is it time to grow up yet?